HOW TO BELIEVE IN HELL
(AS EVANGELICALISM DEFINES IT)
AND BE HAPPY
1) Focus on the positive! Learn to profess belief that your Heavenly Father is punishing billions of his own sentient offspring forever, yet put it out of your mind as much as is humanly possible on a day to day basis. Give it nodding assent when the subject is brought up, of course, but make it a habit to immediately put it out of your mind afterwards.
2) Assume that you and your loved ones will fulfill the requirements of obedient faith and die in obedient faith, although the vast majority of humanity will be lost because they failed to find the narrow way as you and your loved ones have so wisely done.
3) If you have lost or backslidden friends and loved ones who have died, give thanks to God that you aren't like them, thus you'll gradually cease to care about them anymore as time goes on.
4) Don't think deeply about the basic tenets of your faith. Focus on worship and praise, the next marriage seminar or summer camp meeting, reading the Bible WHILE heeding the instructions of your pastor, supporting missions, discovering your spiritual gifts, and becoming a better person YOURSELF. Make YOUR calling and election sure!
5) STEADFASTLY IGNORE all those irksome passages in the Bible that indicate that forever doesn't always LITERALLY MEAN forever, and that Christ will draw ALL people to Himself, and God will become "all in all" rather than "all in some", as your church has so correctly taught you to believe.
6) Keep reminding yourself that true happiness comes from being accepted by your church and not criticized or shunned or kicked out. If you're in leadership remind yourself of the financial loss that lies before you IF you're labeled as a heretic or false teacher.
7) Ignore the GLARING CONTRADICTION that God appears to demand that you love your neighbors and your enemies as yourself and forgive them 70 times 7 daily while He punishes His neighbors and enemies forever and ever. That He demands more love from you and everyone else than He is willing or able to give Himself.
Sounds like a workable plan, for sure! Right?
Well, these little pointers should help you get off to a good start, anyhow! ??
Good luck! You're going to need it!
--Charlie
